Fat Bloke Sevens 2005
Up at Reading Abbey bright and early on the Friday morning. Various Abbey people doing a lot of work in the background, stocking the bar, marking the pitches and sorting out the camping area. Brian Rennell and the Abbey 'team' who work so hard to make this event work for us need a huge thank you. It's their organisation that helps it all run so smoothly on the day.
Also there bright and early was Mike Mulroy and the Wasps Mobile Surgical
Hospital (MASH) including emergency vehicles, caravans and tents and more
equipment than you can shake a stick at. As it turned out, all of this was
necessary and Mike and his team did a fantastic job on the day sorting out
some unpleasant injuries, including two nasty leg injuries, a broken leg and
a dislocated ankle - ouch.
Friday afternoon evening saw the steady arrival of a few campers. As we'd had around fifteen people camp on the Friday night last year, I was a little surprised to see about 150 people there. As you can imagine, it felt right to celebrate this tenfold expansion with a little celebration so into the clubhouse we went.
The 'tombola' went into action in the marvellous 'Land Rovers Return' following closing time and some singing and the making of new friends continued long into the night. The marquee with the Land Rover bar was a brilliant innovation for this year and many thanks again to Wasps for organising this - definitely on the list of things to do again next year.
By Saturday morning the camp site had grown even larger, around 250 camping by the time the end of the day including a good collection of caravans and camper vans.
Registration was fraught again as we'd had two teams drop out the previous
evening. They had both stepped in to replace teams who'd pulled out the week
before so we couldn't be too cross but it did raise problems with us being
down two teams. The Mercenaries, ably organised by LiJoby2, had already
agreed to become a 'proper' team. We split the Fairies into two, calling one
team 'Fat Boys Fat Blokes', but as Fat Boy wasn't there at the time, Big
Andy took on the Captain role initially and led his gallant 'splitters'
brilliantly. This left us with only one team down at the start of the day.
Highlights had to be Worcesters 21 players versus CHPs 7 'stick insects'. Although CHP don't have even a token fat bloke amongst them, they enter the spirit of the competition every year and seemed to be having a great time with the other teams in their pool. The CHP v Worceter game also had the added bonus (?) of a streaker - nice! The Bristol 'Hakal' and their gorgeous cheerleaders won the hearts of many neutral observers and their line out with step ladder will make me smile every time I think about it. The Fat Blokes response to the Hakal was also a bit special:
What do we want?
Not to be cows
When do we want it?
Moo
I guess you had to be there.
Results of the pool games were as follows:
| Results Pool A | |||
| Abbey Ruins | 15 | Big Bobs Villagers | 21 |
| Paiceys' Pot Bellied Pigs | 12 | Fat Cats | 12 |
| Fat Boys Fat Blokes | 0 | Abbey Ruins | 51 |
| Big Bobs Villagers | 7 | Paiceys' Pot Bellied Pigs | 17 |
| Fat Cats | 36 | Fat Boys Fat Blokes | 0 |
| Abbey Ruins | 14 | Paiceys' Pot Bellied Pigs | 35 |
| Big Bobs Villagers | 41 | Fat Boys Fat Blokes | 0 |
| Abbey Ruins | 19 | Fat Cats | 28 |
| Paiceys' Pot Bellied Pigs | 31 | Fat Boys Fat Blokes | 5 |
| Big Bobs Villagers | 26 | Fat Cats | 10 |
| Pool A Final Positions: | |||
| 1st Cup competition | - | Paiceys' Pot Bellied Pigs | |
| 2nd Shield competition | - | Big Bobs Villagers | |
| 3rd | - | Fat Cats | |
| 4th | - | Abbey Ruins | |
| 5th Plate competition | - | Fat Boys Fat Blokes | |
| Results Pool B | |||
| Arabian Knights | 19 | Bruno Nero's | 12 |
| Bristol Pasty Eaters | 0 | Mercenaries | 52 |
| Bath Tubs | 22 | Arabian Knights | 27 |
| Bruno Nero's | 50 | Bristol Pasty Eaters | 5 |
| Mercenaries | 5 | Bath Tubs | 5 |
| Arabian Knights | 31 | Bristol Pasty Eaters | 5 |
| Bruno Nero's | 22 | Bath Tubs | 10 |
| Arabian Knights | 5 | Mercenaries | 38 |
| Bristol Pasty Eaters | 0 | Bath Tubs | 50 |
| Bruno Nero's | 24 | Mercenaries | 21 |
| Pool B Final Positions: | |||
| 1st Cup competition | - | Bruno Nero's | |
| 2nd Shield competition | - | Arabian Knights | |
| 3rd | - | Mercenaries | |
| 4th | - | Bath Tubs | |
| 5th Plate competition | - | Bristol Pasty Eaters | |
| Results Pool C | BYE | 0 | Yaks | 0 |
| Crap Hopeless Players | 36 | Gingell's Gut Buckets | 0 |
| Worcester Wobblers | 0 | BYE | 0 |
| Yaks | 7 | Crap Hopeless Players | 31 |
| Gingell's Gut Buckets | 31 | Worcester Wobblers | 7 |
| BYE | 0 | Crap Hopeless Players | 0 |
| Yaks | 43 | Worcester Wobblers | 0 |
| BYE | 0 | Gingell's Gut Buckets | 0 |
| Crap Hopeless Players | 24 | Worcester Wobblers | 12 |
| Yaks | 5 | Gingell's Gut Buckets | 33 |
| Pool C Final Positions: | |||
| 1st Cup competition | - | Crap Hopeless Players | |
| 2nd Shield competition | - | Gingell's Gut Buckets | |
| 3rd | - | Yaks | |
| 4th | - | BYE | |
| 5th Plate competition | - | Worcester Wobblers | |
| Results Pool D | |||
| Flatulent Fairies | 0 | Jason Leopards | 12 |
| Leeds Lardies | 17 | Drunken Wasps | 14 |
| No Guts No Glory | 31 | Jason Leopards | 0 |
| Flatulent Fairies | 12 | Leeds Lardies | 17 |
| Drunken Wasps | 0 | No Guts No Glory | 47 |
| Jason Leopards | 17 | Leeds Lardies | 10 |
| Flatulent Fairies | 5 | No Guts No Glory | 50 |
| Jason Leopards | 27 | Drunken Wasps | 7 |
| Leeds Lardies | 0 | No Guts No Glory | 48 |
| Flatulent Fairies | 24 | Drunken Wasps | 17 |
| Pool D Final Positions: | |||
| 1st Cup competition | - | No Guts No Glory | |
| 2nd Shield competition | - | Jason Leopards | |
| 3rd | - | Leeds Lardies | |
| 4th | - | Flatulent Fairies | |
| 5th Plate competition | - | Drunken Wasps | |
| Knockout Rounds Results | |||
| Cup Semi Finals | |||
| Paicey's Pot Bellied Pigs | 38 | Bruno Nero's | 0 |
| Crap Hopeless Players | 0 | No Guts No Glory | 43 |
| Sheild Semi Finals | |||
| Big Bobs Villagers | 14 | Arabian Knights | 24 |
| Gingell's Gut Buckets | 22 | Jason's Leopards | 5 |
| Plate Semi Finals | |||
| Fat Boys Fat Blokes | 17 | Bristol Pasty Eaters | 15 |
| Worcester Wobblers | 0 | Drunken Wasps | 31 |
| Finals Results | |||
| Cup Final | |||
| Paicey's Pot Bellied Pigs | 21 | No Guts No Glory | 35 |
| Shield Final | |||
| Gingell's Gut Buckets | 0 | Arabian Knights | 36 |
| Plate Final | |||
| Fat Boys Fat Blokes | 0 | Drunken Wasps | 35 |
Following the Sevens games, an exhibition match of 10's rugby was held. The very smart looking London Blobarians took on the rest of the world in the form of the Country Bum(kin)s. A thrilling encounter with five referees, who had all entered into the world of Fat Bloke rugby with brilliant performances and good humour all day, saw the Bums defeat the Blobs by a narrow margin.
| 10's Exhibition Match | |||
| London Blobarians | x | Country Bum(kin)s | x |
After a long, tiring and enjoyable day of rugby, the trophies could finally be given out. We were delighted to have LeRoy Angel, President of the RFU, with us and he very kindly gave out the fantastic one-off ceramic trophies, made again by Claire Gosney. This was his first official engagement as President and it will be all downhill from here as this has to be the peak of his career.
| Cup | - | No Guts No Glory |
| Shield | - | Arabian Knights |
| Plate (the 'Arse') | - | Drunken Wasps |
The Mike Lee Trophy, voted for by the referees taking part in the event, for the 'Team of the Tournament', went to a thoroughly deserving Worcester Wobblers.
We then had live music from the ever popular Gagging Ferrets and a disco for those who could still move followed by another night at the Land Rovers Return.
So many people helped to make this years' Fat Bloke Sevens the best yet. In particular:
Brian Rennell and Reading Abbey RFC, especially the bar and catering teams who did so much work to keep us fed and 'moist';
All the team captains for getting their players and supporters to the event;
Mike Mulroy and the Wasps MASH first aid team who were, unfortunately, busy all day;
Claire Gosney for her marvellous trophies again this year;
Bill Newton for being a haulage service and getting kit to the event;
Marie Hilliard for manning the second hand shirt stall - brilliant;
Midge and Wendy for taking on the tournament admin and scoring at such late notice and doing such a great job;
Berkshire Referees Society and guest referees for working so hard and allowing so much to go unnoticed by getting into the spirit of the tournament;
Suz and Elsie for selling programs and not taking 'No' for an answer;
Steve Rolls for doing so much work in preparation for the tournament and being one of the driving forces behind the event.
This is a write up of the event but I have to thank Richard Langley and 'Dave' for all their work getting the Fairies together for the tournament as well as LiJoby2 for the Mercenaries and Big Andy and Reading Fatboy for just being great.
See you all 22nd July 2006!
Images here